7/20/13 (a little 7/21, too)

2 pm feels like grey

only confirmed by overcast gloom 

shouldn't that only exist in june?

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why do i feel hungover

i swear sleep is the same as

getting drunk and dehydrating

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mom made shrimp because i said i missed it

and like every other food i miss

"it's because my body needs it"

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the computer screen sun blinding

corona-cornea

burn

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traffic with ay kay

boche, he pops tight u-turns

muddled sun fading

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i wonder how many people crawl into hospitals

vomiting, pale-faced

their diagnosis: "korean bbq"

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the grove?

the grove. 10 minutes.

"it's like disneyland without the magic"

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"want to go on an adventure?"

"as long as you don't get us killed."

"i think we'll be fine."

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benedict canyon

1909? or was it 1808

rushing back to a broken glass childhood

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"are we going to the playboy mansion?"

"no, but we'll pass britney spears and magic johnson."

he speeds up

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highridge cul-de-sac, around a gate

"we're going into the abyss."

i can only feel spiny chaparral

-

up one hill

down that hill

up another: "is there another fucking hill?"

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jacket sauna,

i'm too afraid to let branches

cut cling deter, crawling crawling crawling

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i swear this would be the perfect place for a murder

dark abandoned brush, easy disposal

canyons full of old money wouldn't hear our yells

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i feel like i'm in a brightlightsloudnoises poem

standing on this plateau

angels at my feet

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this is the

night descent into LAX

feeling

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there's no way the air is actually clearer up here but

i swear

breathing is easier

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even up here

we can still hear the eurobeat of a party

down in the canyon, violet flashes

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walking back: 

"does this stuff ever scare you?"

"i've only pussied out once"

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can't find the trail

android flashlight goes to an ad

are you serious right now

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i need hand sanitizer

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flying down sunset's curves, 'holiday' comes on

"this was the first album i bought an-" "dude, me too!"

volume to 25, high five

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summer songs

one that is 3am in crave
a nocturnal enclave vibrant and ethereal


one that is ackerman union's mailroom
wispy muttered wishes and a midnight skype


one that is gentle buzz in a lonely mile high club
driving bass, plastic ginger ale, a friendly new zealander

backpack..

always have a home too small to fit all of your friends

I was just blowing out the candles on my birthday cake when I heard a metallic thump and crash outside of my building. I went to a window and looked out to see a man motionless on his side in the middle of the road, head down. I could hear a man yelling "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" repeatedly. Emergency teams responded and now we can only hope for the best for him.

On a day of celebrating the beginning of my life, it puts it all in perspective. Life is too fleeting to not be thankful for every moment. I know I we can all forget that at times, but we have to always count our blessings.

"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."

vilification or truth?

the myth of sisyphus

the opposite of loneliness

this is a part of american history that really makes me smile

i wish i could go to catalina for the people and the hiking (mainly the people) but i'm going to go to bed tonight pretty content. i feel just a little bit more alive now.

thaw.

internet thank you

2 final papers totaling ~35 pages, 6 final projects (1 turned in today), and an ACT and then junior year will be conquered.

it's nice to have a well organized end in sight. here we go.

it's kinda just a slap in the face. i don't know if it's one of those slaps that wakes you up or one that stems from infuriated karma but it stings.

one week in january, three hundred texts. whoa. that happened.