So there's a rat that lived on my patio and we decided to kill it, because it kept coming. Bought an old-school rat trap (Victor brand!) and set it with some peanut butter on the patio. Very loud snap after 5 minutes, which led to:
Mom freaking out
Me freaking out
Mom freaking out even more when she saw that the rat was lying on the side, not trapped in the trap.
Both of us freaking out more when we figured it might just be unconscious.
Neither of us wanting to get close to it.
So now, there's a (hopefully?) dead rat on my patio. Errg..
You've taken my hand and ran, ran to the place where you could show me and open my eyes to the brighter side of life, pulling me away from the shadow of love.
You've dealt with my mistakes and insecurities, selfishness that has gone beyond tolerance.
You've pulled me off slippery slopes, nursing me back to happiness, in a way only you could achieve.
Your camaraderie, it cannot be weighed in terms of a price.
Yet still a debt is owed.
I'll never fully qualify, never fully deserve, the blessings you've given me.
I just found a deadmau5 song that I can enjoy. The artist that I didn't understand and couldn't for the life of me get why people loved the music so much. Just, whoa.
I think I like it because it's so simple and clean. Like ambiance, I guess.
So I was strolling around the internet, and I stumble upon (no, not from the website) this article. It says at the 1984 Summer Olympics in LA, the opening ceremony had an act of 84 pianists, all on baby grands, playing Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" simultaneously.
It was just another interesting thing that I had to listen to, so I searched for it on Youtube.
Nothing.
Maybe it's on another website, vimeo.com or metacafe.com or something. So I used Google.
Nothing.
I never thought it would happen.
(if anyone finds it, I don't even know how happy I would be. hugs until your ribs break or a million lobster dinners [ok, maybe not that] or anything--you'd just be the best person ever.)
Meeting new people is so, refreshing. It makes me feel like I've come out of my shell and let the world rejuvenate my mind and soul after a far too long hiatus.
This might be one of the best videos I've ever seen on the internet. So brilliant.
1) Your heart is unbelievable. To think what you did to become my first friend, my first best friend, is beyond being just an innocently nice kid. To open a mind and a heart to take in a lonely and outcasted kid much younger than you and then to give more than ten thousand open minds and open hearts to me was beyond mature for your age, seven or eight years ago.
2) Your eyes are strikingly engrossing. Deep and dark, it's like you can see through me and pierce the barriers protecting every thought I have (like I don't share most of them). But when I look back into yours, I can't get out of them. It's like I keep on thinking I've found something new, a spark, until the beautiful darkness shrouds it again.
3) I love your levelheadedness and how you conduct yourself. It's not something someone would normally catch until they've spent enough time with you, but if they're lucky enough to have spent enough, there's no way they couldn't admire it. An air of humble confidence and politeness that has been abandoned much too quickly in society is easily synonymous with you.
4) If someone passed you on the street and caught you in their eye for a splitsecond, they would never forget you and your hair. It's ironic, really. Those dark curls, that have the slightest bounce in them as they follow your steps, are the basis of a stereotypical ditsy, spaced out person. But I'd be a dirty liar if I used those two descriptions for you. The person who's still accepted me after I've told my entire life to them.
5) Your bravery is unmatched by any person I've ever been so close to. To embrace self-worth and not give the slightest damn about what most other people think--that's the kind of quality I will always admire and envy, especially with you.
6) The nicest person I've ever met. Plain and simple. There's nobody that comes close. To think that we became friends so effortlessly, so fast, is amazing, and I owe it to your open and unlimited heart. I feel like one of the luckiest guys alive to be friends with you. Never change one bit.
First time back in months, and I forgot how much I love it. I'm finishing up the painting I left off on, and I'll post a picture of it once I'm done. Here's the photo that I'm painting:
This might be the only piece of writing I've ever done that I've been completely satisfied with. Re-reading this after months reminded me how much I love writing, and how much I missed it. One of the few things that inspired me to start this blog (hence, the name).
Written in late February 2010, after months of collected poetic blurbs in my phone's draft box.
just another day, an egg yolk sun against grey skies sitting on the blue tide
leaning against the passenger seat window, the one you always look through the one I always dream through
chains shattering around me, loosening myself to life freeing myself to love
flying to the sun with no oxygen left
and if I could,
I would take every atom from every star in every cosmos
and collide them together into a brilliant light show until I deplete the universe
A sapling sits, watching his forest burn to ashes, hoping the rains will come and bring renewal to a wasteland.
The young tree gazes as his sanctuary is ablaze, a pot of deep glowing hues, praying this is the end and the forest will regenerate again, stronger than ever.
An aged tree, weathered beyond the years, allowing fires to rip through his home when he wistfully wonders, if he will have to keep watching as he takes his final breaths.
A werewolf drenched in the moon's soft velvet glow as he glides through a forest of giants.
Silhouettes flit between the mountain shrubs and rustle skeletons of leaves.
A clearing is exposed with a light breeze dancing its way through slender blades of grass.
He shuts his eyes and raises his head into the summer night sky hoping to see a full disk of icy greys and whites swimming in a sea of scintillating stars.
Eyelids twitch open, and hopelessness shrouds the nocturnal beast as he strides back into the darkness.
That chunk of Mulholland I take to get down to the Valley is one hell of a road. Winding like a serpent hugging those Santa Monica mountains, it's definitely worth the view of the Valley. It's never static (well, except for the unrelenting L.A. smog, mmm) and maybe that's why I like it so much.
It's like if whoever's up there used the backdrop of the Valley as a canvas and flexed their inner Manet, splashing intense hues of blood reds and golden yellows and terracotta oranges. Or sometimes they might scrub a soft powdered blue and then dab puffs of white clouds, as lightly as possible, onto the canvas--letting us lie on our backs and ponder the Rorschach test in the sky.
Driving down today, whoever's up there probably had an emotionally draining day (sure wasn't alone) so when I turned onto Mulholland to descend into the Valley , I saw a landscape of warm and faded oranges and yellows strewn on an ambiguous mess of grey clouds.
I woke up at 1 PM today, so I already missed out on a ton of summer daylight. With the regret of already wasting that time in the back of my head, I got a nice dose of reality and realized my summer efficiency was at the pace of a dead snail's and that it's already mid-July. I felt..crappy, for lack of a better (and more eloquent, there does that make it up?) word.
So I was vibing in the car with with that incredible summer breeze in my face on my (brandspankinnew) purple iPod Nano as it was on shuffle and I swear that thing reads minds. I hear: "And I just can't keep living this way/So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage/I'm standing up, Imma face my demons/I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground/I've had enough, now I'm so fed up/Time to put my life back together right now". Sure gave me a much needed flash of inspiration to not sulk around and be a little emo kid during vacation. I swear, that Eminem guy changed my life since I first heard him as a 10 year old.
But to get outta my head now...
I wish I stopped and took a picture of Mulholland today, but I guess I'll just share some random sunset picture I have.
I don't really know what really influenced me to make a blog, maybe it was reading a friend's and realizing how cool it is to keep journal...that can get really personal...that everyone can see? I guess I find that enticing in some sort of horrible attention-seeking way (hey, everyone does it), even though barely anyone's gonna read this. Now that I think of it, maybe it's because I want to keep a timeline of my thoughts and what I do--reading this in a year or so would probably be really entertaining. But the most practical reason is just so I can write more, blogs seem like a good stimulus to workout my word chops. I feel like I go into a writer's withdrawal when I don't have my extremely rare spurts of intense creativity and inspiration and I bet I can write without those rushes of eloquence (or is it poignant emotion?)--even if they're colloquial (I spelled that right on my first try! happy Victor) journal entries.
I guess I'll also post some old pieces of writing I've done before (in addition to new ones), artwork (mainly photography with some oil painting sprinkled in), whatever I find on the internet that means something to me, music (of course) and what's on my mind when I find the time to blog.
And I'll leave you with this:
Fill my ears, mind, and soul with your passion, Louis.
